WALT: Use precise adjectives in our writing to add interest to our readers

For literacy this week Mrs Clark gave us a doc and a picture and we had to make a story with our imaginations. We used nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs. My favourite bit about this activity was  

WALT: Use precise adjectives in our writing to add interest to our readers Adjectives Nouns Verbs Adverbs

My story

In an old abandoned garage my friend and I were wandering in
there and we heard the fluttering of the dead lights. I thought I heard
something so I turned around but nothing was there and when I
turned
back my friend was gone! So I went looking around the garage I
couldn't  find her ,she had disappeared. I was very scared at this point
I didn’t know what to do. I heard someone walking towards me, I
started walking away scaredly. I ran towards the door to get out of here
but the door was locked! I started to panic I heard strange noises I
wondered where the noise came so I looked around  the garage and I
found a ghost it sounded like the ghost was crying. I was so scared and
I ran to the door and banged on the door but nothing happend. I had
nothing to do but call the police but I realized that there was no signal
on my phone… then I started to panic so bad that I fainted. When I
woke up I saw that I fell and hit my head on the concrete so hard the
my head started to bleed so much. I screamed so loudly  the my head
started to bleed more and more. Now I couldn't feel anything I heard
the police sirens. But then I heard nothing I only could see things but
now I can’t...

Self assessment.

The things I think I’ve done well

My descriptive language, my imagination.

The things I need to work on.

Adding more of my words, to make the story make sense.   

Pair assessment.

Things that were done well:

I like how you could tell how the main character of the story
was feeling for example: I heard someone walking towards
me, I started walking away scaredly.

I like how you explained what was going on with adjectives verbs
etc.

Things to work on:

Maybe you could try using more adjectives, adverbs, verbs and
nouns in the characters speech to give it more of a punch.

 Self assessment. The things I think I've done well My descriptive language, my imagination. The things i need to work on. Adding more of my words, to make the story make sense. 

 Pair assessment. Things that were done well: I like how you could tell how the main character of the story was feeling for example: I heard someone walking towards me, I started walking away scaredly. I like how you explained what was going on with adjectives verbs etc. Things to work on: Maybe you could try using more adjectives, adverbs, verbs and nouns in the characters speech to give it more of a punch.